Today, we're going to delve into the three different types of offenses—the things that cause us to be offended. I want you to search for yourself and pay close attention as we go through this. Understand that God does not want us to take offense because of what people do to us.
Offenses will come, but you can make up your mind:
“I choose not to be offended by anyone or anything. I won’t let anyone rent space in my emotions or in my head.”
1. Imaginary Offense
An imaginary offense is a perceived offense—something you conclude in your imagination.
You believe someone said or did something intentionally to offend you when they may not have meant any harm.
Examples:
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“He didn’t shake my hand.”
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“The pastor walked past me and didn’t pray for me.”
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“She looked right at me when she said that.”
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“The message from the pulpit was aimed at me.”
We often draw conclusions because we’ve allowed the enemy to rent space in our minds. Sometimes, the person didn’t even notice you—they may have been preoccupied or dealing with something personal.
Many relationships are broken because of imaginary offenses—between friends, spouses, and even in churches. Instead of assuming, simply ask:
“Hey, I noticed you walked past me—was everything okay?”
Scripture:
2 Corinthians 10:3–5 (KJV)
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
Our battles are in the mind. Sometimes we fight people who are not even our enemies. We must cast down imaginations and bring every thought under Christ’s obedience.
Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Guard your thoughts. Think only on what is true, pure, and praiseworthy.
1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)
“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Don’t hold on to imaginary offenses. Don’t be ultra-sensitive or easily triggered. Those who are always offended live in a self-made prison of bitterness. God wants you to walk in love and freedom.
2. Accidental Offense
An accidental offense happens when someone offends you unintentionally.
They didn’t mean to hurt you—it may be due to cultural differences or simple mistakes.
Examples:
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Forgetting your birthday or arriving late to an event.
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Giving one sibling a more expensive gift than another.
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Saying something acceptable in one culture but offensive in another.
You must learn to extend grace. People will forget, make mistakes, and sometimes act without thinking—but it doesn’t mean they meant harm.
Scripture:
Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
God has given us the Spirit of patience and longsuffering. Offenses will come, but we must not hold on to them.
Luke 17:1 (KJV)
“Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!”
Even when someone unintentionally offends you, don’t let the enemy use that to sow division. Choose forgiveness and peace.
3. Actual (Malicious) Offense
An actual offense occurs when someone deliberately tries to hurt or spite you.
They may lie about you, criticize you unfairly, or withhold something to frustrate you.
For example, you might have a boss who intentionally overlooks your hard work or a friend who spreads lies about you. These are real offenses—but God still calls you not to take offense.
Example:
The speaker shared how a principal intentionally blocked her from getting tenure despite her excellent performance. It was unfair and hurtful—but instead of holding bitterness, she chose to forgive and trust God. And in the end, God blessed her beyond what she lost.
When you choose not to take offense, you leave room for God to fight for you and restore what was taken.
Scripture:
Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
Your battle is not with people—it’s with the enemy using them. Keep your heart free from bitterness.
Romans 12:19 (NIV)
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
When you refuse offense, you position yourself for divine favor and restoration. God can turn every injustice into a testimony of His faithfulness.
Final Encouragement
Offenses will come—imaginary, accidental, or actual. But you have the power to choose your response.
Choose peace over anger.
Choose love over bitterness.
Choose forgiveness over revenge.
When you refuse to take offense, you create space for God’s blessings to flow freely in your life.
“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
— Psalm 119:165 (KJV)